He’s driven or flown everywhere he goes. He has armed security 24/7. He “lives” in the White House with (presumably) dozens of staff. Someone else (presumably) checks his mail. Not counting the ever popularly portrayed “nuclear key”, does the President carry any other keys?

Yes, that is Michael Phelps, winner of 14 Olympic Gold Medals bogarting the bong. You have to feel sorry for the poor bastard next in line. But the upside is that this may distract mainstream media long enough to allow Obama to get some work done.

The truth is this photo merely shows how much of a religion sports in general have become. Phelps’ accomplishments are stellar but his swimming prowess should not make him a de facto role model for children. Let’s face it, that’s the real rub. He’s tarnished the role model status foisted upon professional athletes whether they want it or not. Imagine if he’d been caught getting a blowjob! (As if those damned NBA players could spare any).

Here’s the truth. Parents need to be the role model and set the bar for kids. Responsible adults need to place sports back into its proper place as recreation… profitable, yes, but entertainment nonetheless. There’s no better time than Superbowl night to say this. The notion that Phelps has transgressed any worse than the scores of crooked politicians running the country is laughable. Rock on man!

Thanks to Kerry Lauerman of Open Salon for the radar blip, and to News of the World for the photo and 1000+ comments on this story.